Something ugly

I saw something really ugly today.

I saw someone who was really angry, rebellious, and frustrated. That person was angry because change wasn't happening fast enough. Angry because no one would listen, people are stubborn and eyes were closed to the truth. Well, that part isn't so ugly, because Jesus got angry like that too once. But what that anger caused in my friend was ugly. The anger was causing bitterness and a thought process that said "If people would just listen to ME, they would get it right" Then the rebellion set in...my friend is NOT top man on the totem pole...there are people who have authority over her. There are people who are in charge of things that she is not. There are people, whether she agrees with them or not, who have been set in places that carry more power and more authority than the place where she sits. She doesn't think she's being rebellious because she isn't actively protesting and railing against authority.

But the evidence of the rebellion is found in her level of frustration. See what my friend didn't realize is that when you try to fix something that isn't yours to fix, you can't do it. You aren't equipped to do the job right. So in her mind, frustration was there because the problem wasn't being fixed her way. But frustration was really there because she was messing with something she had no business trying to fix. It was subtle but definite rebellion.


You may have already guessed it, but the ugly thing I saw this morning was me. Ick. And trust me,when you see yourself reflected against God's word, God can use the most obscure verse of scripture to gently reveal the chasm that exists between who you are and who He is moving you to be. (That's because it's the LIVING word of God)


What's really cool about me seeing myself this way today was that this truth served not to make me feel guilty, but to free me.(You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free...I think that sounds familiar) It moved me to confess that I am not what I think I am. I am not in charge. I am not in control. God is the owner of all power and authority and He uses that in and through the people he chooses when he chooses. Freedom!!! I am called to do only what he has shown me to do and equipped me to do. Period. What a relief.

Seeing the ugliness today turned into something amazingly beautiful.